Friday, November 15, 2013

Scrubbing the Floor

     Yesterday I scrubbed my kitchen floor. Big deal huh? It was though. It truly was a gigantic step for the day. Sometimes just being able to do a simple task like that makes me feel like I have reached the top of Mount Everest.
     Focus is something that is difficult for myself. I can't just set off to do something. Accomplishment of a goal, no matter how simple, is paramount to me winning the lottery some days. Being able to do the dishes or vacuum or even take a shower can be daunting for myself. Couple these things with appearing to have your act together and being able to function at a minimal level in society and the stress becomes almost overwhelming.
     These stresses and anxieties ebb and flow. I was actually in a great two year period where I didn't have the anxiety and depression monsters making their daily appearance. I had managed my gambling problem(this is a common symptom of depression) and had fallen in-love(still am very in love). But since losing my job and the life that I really liked the anxiety and depression has returned. So being able to just accomplish something simple other than the expected duties that I have to do was a big deal. I just hope that I can get more done today because I have to try.
     This is going to be short. I am scattered today. But I am trying to hang on.

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