Tuesday, November 12, 2013


      Today I came to one conclusion. Simply put; I am a man crippled by what has been years of depression and angst. I wish that I could say that my life has mirrored Willy Loman, but it really hasn't. I have managed to hide my inner-self since I was a child with a smile and a jovial laugh that tends to exhibit itself when the situation is more serious than funny.
      Hiding out in the open is what I have done since I was a kid. I wore nervousness like an uncomfortable pair of underwear, feeling like I never measured up to anyone. But onward through life I went. Racing away from responsibility if the unhappiness inside my body grew to a point that made me think of my own death. That is my coping mechanism, escape. I have quit jobs, left towns, drank, smoked, turned into a hermit, gambled, and slept around just trying to quell the voice inside my head. The same voice that said; "Sean keep smiling or they won't like you. Be the strong one, stay even-keeled." That is what I do, have done, and fight to the point of my own sanity almost every day.
     This is what I will be writing about...

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